I made a lot of mistakes in 2010, and those, hopefully, have been good lessons for me for the future. I am now not just a mom and a wife, but also a caretaker, and this has been a strange adjustment for me. Difficult, even. I’m not used to sharing the house with another family member, but, we’re slowly adjusting and getting used to the new situation.
Looking back over the past year, I have struggled with many things: my own mortality, my health, alcoholism, anger, fear and frustration. I discovered that I hid my emotions in drinking, but, that is something that I fear I will always have to watch myself with. I’m the first to admit that I am no Master of anything. I still have so much to learn, and face, and come to terms with. I have struggled with moving four times in the past year, as well as having my beloved little sister near death, as she waits for her transplant. Unfortunately, a lot of abuse comes from her health issues with the toxicity in her body builds up and she doesn’t know what is going on. In her eyes, I have failed her, but I truly have done my best for her, and I don’t feel bad about any of that. Still, dealing with it at the times… Those were tough.
So, now, I choose not to make any resolutions, but I do want to live a better life. I do want to become a better person. I am reinstituting my Tai Chi practice as well as my ulcer diet to improve my health, and my meditation practices have picked up more as of late.
I wish to go to the Jedi Gathering here in Texas this year, and I would like to present a decent example. lol. But, more importantly, I would like to be a better example for my children. They deserve so much more than they have received in this life, and yes, we’ve always done our best, but sometimes, best isn’t good enough. We can always do better. Anyways, just wanted to get that out there.
